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[personal profile] promeny
This month went by pretty quickly. It could have been faster, but it really seems like this summer has just been breezing by.

It has only been a little over five weeks since I've moved from the old place, but it feels like I have been at my apartment for about a year. I really like my apartment; I did like the old place, but my former roommate was starting to become very irritable and unpleasant and I realized that all the good memories that I could have made there had already been made, so as such it was best for me to leave.

I was there just a few days ago because the electricity bill for that place was accidentally sent to me. I went over there and left it at the door, and then went on the carport roof, one of my favorite things to do when I was there. It just didn't feel the same; it didn't even look the same, even though it basically was. All I had in my head was, "This just doesn't feel right." Well, at least that means that I moved on, for the most part.

I read one of Chuck Klosterman's books last week, and at first I was tempted to write one of my own in his style, but I eventually decided against it, because I felt that if it brought me fame, it would bring me the kind of fame that I wouldn't want. I wouldn't be writing it in a sincere manner, in any case. I don't want to be ultra-famous or some talking head that is known for being controversial (believe it or not); I just want to write scholarly stuff and be mildly known for that. I actually am writing a rough draft right now on a subject, but I still have doubts about whether or not any of these writings are going to amount to anything. But if I keep on writing and writing, I will have amassed a large amount of original documents, enough to make up a database or archive, and that alone is worth something, in my eyes. I mean, at least I could say that I did something with my life. I like writing, anyway, because it takes my mind off of how pathetic my life is.

I'm glad that I don't have internet at my apartment. I hate most of the internet; it is filled with garbage and boring people. It used to be that you could meet people who were really interesting, or at least fun. But now everyone is so wrapped up in themselves and people are even more caustic than they used to be. Almost no one talks about things that are interesting to me. Back in the day (roughly a decade ago) I could point out at least twenty interesting people online; now, I'm pretty sure that I could only do that with about four or five. I don't know why this is; part of it might be because I have higher standards now. But I think that most of it is because the internet is now a part of real life, and people are too afraid to be different. Of course, they would never admit that, but nonetheless there is always a "right" way of doing things, and many "wrong" ways of doing them, to most people. And that in itself is going to stop a lot of interesting things from happening. Just...I don't know. Most things are so boring these days. There are maybe two or three sites that especially interest me these days. People in general just spend hours dicking around on their smartphones; I have no idea why anyone would waste their time like that. Read a book or something. I've never owned a smartphone, and I doubt that I ever will.

Outside of that, nothing much is going on. I just want to stop drinking altogether; I only drink a 40 oz a night now, which is a significant reduction. I am also looking after my father's house while he is gone; he put down the dog that his girlfriend had. I feel sad about that; before I learned that, I thought that I was a borderline sociopath, but I guess that I am not quite.

August 2017

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