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Jan. 4th, 2014 12:05 pmI feel a bit better now physically. I think that the elimination of alcohol, as well as the restriction of carbohydrates, has made things less stressful for my mind and body. My eyes hurt a lot less now; my vision is still foggy at times, but I think that is a psychological thing.
Quite a few days ago I remembered someone I saw on OKCupid back when I was at MTSU, I think. I looked her name up at random and found that she's in the Seattle region, having a successful life. At first, I was a bit jealous and angry on the inside because she gets to have a successful life and I don't. But after thinking about it for a while, I realized that she has very well likely reached her full potential by now and probably won't become any more successful. I, on the other hand, may be a failure right now, but I feel as if I have a lot of potential to become something great in the future. I simply have to figure out how to become something great, and increase my chances.
Not only that, but she is also probably very lonely. Just because you are successful, doesn't mean you are happy, and vice versa. She lives by herself, as far as I know. That is somewhat unusual for someone about my age.
As such, just because one has found their place in society and is independent and whatever have you, doesn't necessarily mean that they are better off. But this could just all be some subtle defense mechanism on my part. I may want to think that I still have a future, when I do not.
Well, you can really only be sure about all of that when you are dead.
Quite a few days ago I remembered someone I saw on OKCupid back when I was at MTSU, I think. I looked her name up at random and found that she's in the Seattle region, having a successful life. At first, I was a bit jealous and angry on the inside because she gets to have a successful life and I don't. But after thinking about it for a while, I realized that she has very well likely reached her full potential by now and probably won't become any more successful. I, on the other hand, may be a failure right now, but I feel as if I have a lot of potential to become something great in the future. I simply have to figure out how to become something great, and increase my chances.
Not only that, but she is also probably very lonely. Just because you are successful, doesn't mean you are happy, and vice versa. She lives by herself, as far as I know. That is somewhat unusual for someone about my age.
As such, just because one has found their place in society and is independent and whatever have you, doesn't necessarily mean that they are better off. But this could just all be some subtle defense mechanism on my part. I may want to think that I still have a future, when I do not.
Well, you can really only be sure about all of that when you are dead.
