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Jan. 16th, 2014 11:29 amI've written 20,000 words now. However, I feel as if I am losing steam. It isn't that I don't care about the book anymore; far from it. I just have to add extra scenes that add small, almost unnecessary details. I could do without them, but then the book wouldn't really be a story; it would just be a series of descriptions about horrible events. And that doesn't sell, or make anything coherent and/or interesting.
Working on this project has been very cathartic. I mean, I was really enjoying myself with it at first, and it was very therapeutic to get it out of my system, but now I'm just exhausted. I can feel it taking its toll on my brain; I can't perform as well anymore. I still read philosophy and think "deep" things, but I'm not performing very well on Lumosity; maybe it is just getting in the way of demonstrating my intelligence, rather than making me less intelligent.
It is quite odd, because I feel a lot more talented and skilled, but my behavior and thoughts are more laborious and troubled. Maybe I just have a one track mind, and can only devote my energy on one task/faculty, leaving the others to fester? I simply don't know.
In other news, I was looking at a facebook profile of an old friend that I hung out with when I was at MTSU. He still seemed like a good guy and everything, and I still like him, but I had the realization that I probably wouldn't be anywhere near as close to him as I was back then. It is sort of amazing how a person can change from 26 to 30; you would think that people would stop growing up by then, but that simply isn't true. I suppose that we just became too different from each other, and no longer have a reason to keep in touch I guess.
I just don't know. Part of me thinks that my mind is dissolving, as if there is lead in the water at my apartment or something. Another part of me feels as if I can never connect to others, which very well may be true. I could be a sociopath, for all I know. Well, I've known of worse people.
Working on this project has been very cathartic. I mean, I was really enjoying myself with it at first, and it was very therapeutic to get it out of my system, but now I'm just exhausted. I can feel it taking its toll on my brain; I can't perform as well anymore. I still read philosophy and think "deep" things, but I'm not performing very well on Lumosity; maybe it is just getting in the way of demonstrating my intelligence, rather than making me less intelligent.
It is quite odd, because I feel a lot more talented and skilled, but my behavior and thoughts are more laborious and troubled. Maybe I just have a one track mind, and can only devote my energy on one task/faculty, leaving the others to fester? I simply don't know.
In other news, I was looking at a facebook profile of an old friend that I hung out with when I was at MTSU. He still seemed like a good guy and everything, and I still like him, but I had the realization that I probably wouldn't be anywhere near as close to him as I was back then. It is sort of amazing how a person can change from 26 to 30; you would think that people would stop growing up by then, but that simply isn't true. I suppose that we just became too different from each other, and no longer have a reason to keep in touch I guess.
I just don't know. Part of me thinks that my mind is dissolving, as if there is lead in the water at my apartment or something. Another part of me feels as if I can never connect to others, which very well may be true. I could be a sociopath, for all I know. Well, I've known of worse people.
