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Jul. 24th, 2013 11:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
promenyI've talked about my dark nature before, or if I haven't, I've always been meaning to.
I have a lot of hurtful and angry thoughts in my head, for some reason. And they always seem to reappear at random times during the day, as if I have some mood disorder or something. I don't, but it does seem like that (not to mention that it does run in my family). The randomness is baffling; sometimes I have a near-constant rage that lasts for weeks, and other times months will go by where I'm barely like that at all.
For the longest time, I've wondered why I hate so many things, and why I'm almost addicted to these thoughts. And then yesterday, it hit me: I'm the kind of person that thrives off of negative energy. I get some sort of high from not only the suffering of others, but also from myself.
I don't know if that makes me a bad person by default. I don't particularly want to hurt people; I just think about it a lot. I guess being dark is really from your thoughts and emotional dynamics alone. I've been light before, from the morning glories I took about two months ago. I didn't like it; I felt alien and fake. Dark just seems to suit me better.
I have a lot of hurtful and angry thoughts in my head, for some reason. And they always seem to reappear at random times during the day, as if I have some mood disorder or something. I don't, but it does seem like that (not to mention that it does run in my family). The randomness is baffling; sometimes I have a near-constant rage that lasts for weeks, and other times months will go by where I'm barely like that at all.
For the longest time, I've wondered why I hate so many things, and why I'm almost addicted to these thoughts. And then yesterday, it hit me: I'm the kind of person that thrives off of negative energy. I get some sort of high from not only the suffering of others, but also from myself.
I don't know if that makes me a bad person by default. I don't particularly want to hurt people; I just think about it a lot. I guess being dark is really from your thoughts and emotional dynamics alone. I've been light before, from the morning glories I took about two months ago. I didn't like it; I felt alien and fake. Dark just seems to suit me better.
