(no subject)
May. 22nd, 2013 11:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
promenyWell, I haven't posted in a long time.
Don't feel too bad, Dreamwidth. I don't even care about Livejournal anymore.
Looking back on my previous posts, both here and on Livejournal, I can't help but to feel like a faggot. It is totally all my fault, though.
I'm not a faggot. I'm just delusional. I was in a psych ward for three days and that was the entry diagnosis. I thought that I got better from it, and in some ways I did, but the medication increase fucked with my body and my delusions came back anyway. I'm farsighted now (although not horribly) and there is some blood in my urine. I must have an odd brain and body chemistry.
I came to realize that what is wrong with me is not primarily in my brain (although I'm still sort of fucked up in there), but in my heart. And no amount of medication save from a practical chemical lobotomy could ever fix that. I really don't know why I'm broken like that.
But one thing is for certain; I'd rather be psychotic than become blind, or suffer permanent brain and organ damage. Seriously, fuck that.
But things are slightly better. I bought a Sega Saturn, at least.
Well, until next time.
Don't feel too bad, Dreamwidth. I don't even care about Livejournal anymore.
Looking back on my previous posts, both here and on Livejournal, I can't help but to feel like a faggot. It is totally all my fault, though.
I'm not a faggot. I'm just delusional. I was in a psych ward for three days and that was the entry diagnosis. I thought that I got better from it, and in some ways I did, but the medication increase fucked with my body and my delusions came back anyway. I'm farsighted now (although not horribly) and there is some blood in my urine. I must have an odd brain and body chemistry.
I came to realize that what is wrong with me is not primarily in my brain (although I'm still sort of fucked up in there), but in my heart. And no amount of medication save from a practical chemical lobotomy could ever fix that. I really don't know why I'm broken like that.
But one thing is for certain; I'd rather be psychotic than become blind, or suffer permanent brain and organ damage. Seriously, fuck that.
But things are slightly better. I bought a Sega Saturn, at least.
Well, until next time.
