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Jun. 5th, 2013 01:03 pmGod, fuck my life.
In the late afternoon yesterday I took a Sudafed, thinking that it would help my headache and eyes. Turns out, it didn't; it just made me all shaky, scatterbrained, paranoid and anxious. I tried to tough it out at first but when I went to the library and discovered that Sudafed is a stimulant, I motherfucking panicked. Stimulants do not go very well with my brain chemistry at all.
So I went to my former boss's office, who is also my friend. I told her the situation and she agreed to drop me off at the ER. That may have seemed like overkill but I actually killed two birds with one stone. For one, I was told that my vitals were fine, and I got my eyes checked. Turns out, they are normal, with no glaucoma or anything. He ended up diagnosing me with conjunctivitis and gave me a prescription for anti-allergy eye drops and generic anti-anxiety pills.
I couldn't afford the eye drops, but I did get a refund on the Sudafed, so getting the pills was just fine.
Turns out the doctor in the ER knew my grandfather, mother and father; he recognized my name (I'm named after my grandfather). We had a nice talk while he was doing his thing.
I didn't sleep at all last night, and went to the library lounge to use the internet at around five in the morning. That was pleasant enough.
By eight or so I felt like crap. I decided to go back home at around eight thirty and proceeded to lay down on my bed, taking another dose of the pills.
I called my therapist and told her what happened, and she basically told me to tell my psychiatrist. That psychiatrist later told me to stop taking the pills, because they would only make my anxiety worse. Knowing how I was suffering even more after I took it, I believed her.
A lot of bad shit has happened in the past month. I do not have the easiest life in the world. I mean, everyone has problems, and some of it is my fault, but I rarely seem to catch a break.
But it is fine for now. At least I'm scared away from drugs for good, more or less. Although this time was relatively innocent.
In the late afternoon yesterday I took a Sudafed, thinking that it would help my headache and eyes. Turns out, it didn't; it just made me all shaky, scatterbrained, paranoid and anxious. I tried to tough it out at first but when I went to the library and discovered that Sudafed is a stimulant, I motherfucking panicked. Stimulants do not go very well with my brain chemistry at all.
So I went to my former boss's office, who is also my friend. I told her the situation and she agreed to drop me off at the ER. That may have seemed like overkill but I actually killed two birds with one stone. For one, I was told that my vitals were fine, and I got my eyes checked. Turns out, they are normal, with no glaucoma or anything. He ended up diagnosing me with conjunctivitis and gave me a prescription for anti-allergy eye drops and generic anti-anxiety pills.
I couldn't afford the eye drops, but I did get a refund on the Sudafed, so getting the pills was just fine.
Turns out the doctor in the ER knew my grandfather, mother and father; he recognized my name (I'm named after my grandfather). We had a nice talk while he was doing his thing.
I didn't sleep at all last night, and went to the library lounge to use the internet at around five in the morning. That was pleasant enough.
By eight or so I felt like crap. I decided to go back home at around eight thirty and proceeded to lay down on my bed, taking another dose of the pills.
I called my therapist and told her what happened, and she basically told me to tell my psychiatrist. That psychiatrist later told me to stop taking the pills, because they would only make my anxiety worse. Knowing how I was suffering even more after I took it, I believed her.
A lot of bad shit has happened in the past month. I do not have the easiest life in the world. I mean, everyone has problems, and some of it is my fault, but I rarely seem to catch a break.
But it is fine for now. At least I'm scared away from drugs for good, more or less. Although this time was relatively innocent.
