(no subject)
Nov. 6th, 2014 06:00 pmIt has been a while.
I've had some ups and downs, with more downs than ups in the past week or so. But I know how to manage, and I realize that just because I have a thought or a feeling, doesn't mean that it is automatically justified.
I honestly think that I'm a little down because I still sort of fear a possible death right after I turn 31. Well, perhaps "fear" isn't the right word; I have no problem with death but I wonder what would come after it, if I have "prepared" myself for it, if you will.
I'm also down because I haven't written anything in a while, although I am reading again. Reading helps me take the focus off of myself and try to be constructive with my thoughts. I have vague ideas about what I want to write, but I can't be bothered to do it right now; I still need to acquire more knowledge. Writing gave me a purpose in life, and without that purpose, I'm lost. And you know what happens when you are lost...
I'm studying the concept of gnosis right now. The Gnostic religions are sort of bullshit, but I find the concept itself pretty interesting. I want to learn more about it before I simply shrug it off.
Outside of that, I'm not really doing anything else. I want to gain more insight and power, but I need to examine my own flaws and limitations first.
I've had some ups and downs, with more downs than ups in the past week or so. But I know how to manage, and I realize that just because I have a thought or a feeling, doesn't mean that it is automatically justified.
I honestly think that I'm a little down because I still sort of fear a possible death right after I turn 31. Well, perhaps "fear" isn't the right word; I have no problem with death but I wonder what would come after it, if I have "prepared" myself for it, if you will.
I'm also down because I haven't written anything in a while, although I am reading again. Reading helps me take the focus off of myself and try to be constructive with my thoughts. I have vague ideas about what I want to write, but I can't be bothered to do it right now; I still need to acquire more knowledge. Writing gave me a purpose in life, and without that purpose, I'm lost. And you know what happens when you are lost...
I'm studying the concept of gnosis right now. The Gnostic religions are sort of bullshit, but I find the concept itself pretty interesting. I want to learn more about it before I simply shrug it off.
Outside of that, I'm not really doing anything else. I want to gain more insight and power, but I need to examine my own flaws and limitations first.