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Dec. 28th, 2014 06:21 pmChristmas was somewhat uneventful. There were some minor awkward moments, but overall I had an okay time, and received more presents than I thought that I would. I didn't have presents then, but the day after I felt bad so I bought two boxes of Moon Pies for my brother and a box of chocolates each for my father and his girlfriend.
I talked to my sister the day after Christmas. She seemed well, but somewhat disturbed. We talked a lot about the past, and of family stuff. I might have drained her a little bit, but the conversation ended well.
My brother was here until yesterday. We hung out a bit and he got me new pillows; he wanted to replace the sheets on my bed, but I washed them and they ended up being salvageable. I did buy him lunch yesterday, and we also had some beer that I bought the day before yesterday.
All in all, not a particularly bad holiday season.
I finished The Dynamics of Light and Dark over two weeks ago. I'll probably start writing again in a few days, because I still have a lot to write about and I need to keep my brain active.
Overall, it has been kind of quiet. I came to a realization about a week ago, while I was trying to go to sleep but failing, that throughout my youth I was too familiar and trusting with people, and revealed too much about myself. With my high level of empathy, I was too open and I was foolish enough to at least partially believe that others were as good-natured as me. Of course, I had experience that some were not, but a lot of people were kind to me out of pity, it seems. I wonder how long that has been going on? I wasn't entirely clueless about the whole thing; my experiences with others did give me the notion that I was wrong, but I still had it in my nature to be so open with others, with that sense of aforesaid familiarity. While I have endeavored to become a lot more distant (and have somewhat succeeded), it does not come naturally, and I eventually lose my filter when I feel either anxious enough or comfortable enough. I now know what the problem is, but what is there to do about it? I can't become a total jerk, because then I'll lose my friends and whatnot, and I'll be a lot more of a miserable and unpleasant person.
I have only one more book to read til it hits the 75th mark of all the books that I have read this year. I can do it! That is an impressive number; I have all the time in the world, so I may as well use it to become more knowledgeable, rather than have my mind stagnate.
It is near the end of the year, and I've got to write the Monthly Synopsis soon. Hopefully I won't forget.
I talked to my sister the day after Christmas. She seemed well, but somewhat disturbed. We talked a lot about the past, and of family stuff. I might have drained her a little bit, but the conversation ended well.
My brother was here until yesterday. We hung out a bit and he got me new pillows; he wanted to replace the sheets on my bed, but I washed them and they ended up being salvageable. I did buy him lunch yesterday, and we also had some beer that I bought the day before yesterday.
All in all, not a particularly bad holiday season.
I finished The Dynamics of Light and Dark over two weeks ago. I'll probably start writing again in a few days, because I still have a lot to write about and I need to keep my brain active.
Overall, it has been kind of quiet. I came to a realization about a week ago, while I was trying to go to sleep but failing, that throughout my youth I was too familiar and trusting with people, and revealed too much about myself. With my high level of empathy, I was too open and I was foolish enough to at least partially believe that others were as good-natured as me. Of course, I had experience that some were not, but a lot of people were kind to me out of pity, it seems. I wonder how long that has been going on? I wasn't entirely clueless about the whole thing; my experiences with others did give me the notion that I was wrong, but I still had it in my nature to be so open with others, with that sense of aforesaid familiarity. While I have endeavored to become a lot more distant (and have somewhat succeeded), it does not come naturally, and I eventually lose my filter when I feel either anxious enough or comfortable enough. I now know what the problem is, but what is there to do about it? I can't become a total jerk, because then I'll lose my friends and whatnot, and I'll be a lot more of a miserable and unpleasant person.
I have only one more book to read til it hits the 75th mark of all the books that I have read this year. I can do it! That is an impressive number; I have all the time in the world, so I may as well use it to become more knowledgeable, rather than have my mind stagnate.
It is near the end of the year, and I've got to write the Monthly Synopsis soon. Hopefully I won't forget.
