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Jul. 8th, 2015 09:39 amIt has been about two weeks since I moved.
I love it. I don't feel antsy in there anymore; I've learned how to deal with boredom. I think that I initially felt that way because I didn't know how to spend my time without the internet, but now I just like to chill out. I'm actually a lot more happy and mentally healthy without constant access to the internet; it provides me a lot less opportunity to remind myself that I'm not like anyone else, and as such I'm a lot less jaded.
I could spend all day in my apartment, but I like going out sometimes. I still need to see my small amount of friends, anyway, just to keep myself somewhat in the loop. I don't need a social life but I don't want my ability to talk to others to completely atrophy.
It hasn't rained in over a month. It has just been fairly hot and sunny. I hate it.
I paid my former roommate all of the money that I owed him, and to celebrate I got drunk. It was fun at the time, but during the next day I just felt like a degenerate loser. It was the first time I felt extremely ashamed about it; usually I just made excuses in the past. I didn't have a drop of alcohol the day after, though, so that was good. I'm planning to stay away from alcohol. It is unhealthy, a waste of time and way too expensive, anyway. Even if I could afford it, I don't know if I would want to drink it anymore.
As it turns out, my former roommate still lives at the old place. I sort of knew that; he said that he wanted to move out, but the arrangement that he made didn't work out. I believe him, although if it was a few weeks ago I would have called him a liar. He seemed pretty unhappy. I'm not glad that he fucked himself over, but he did bring it all on himself.
I still slightly miss the old place, but it brought out a lot of bad habits and I needed to move on and start living on my own. I was getting too old to have roommates.
Basically, these days I just chill out in my apartment and carry out solitary activities. I like reading and writing, and I write about ten pages of poetry a day. One of my friends has been reading my poems and she likes them. The problem is, though, is that I don't know how to really get my poems out there, so it might be a while. I am not sure if anyone reads poetry anymore, anyway. I also want to make computer games and music again, as well as practice drawing (which I actually have been doing), but my poetry comes first.
Other than that, pretty much nothing. The death anniversary of my mother was uneventful, save for meeting my brother's girlfriend for the first time. She is nice. I'm watching my weight now and I have lost a few pounds, and it is odd because my brother now weighs more than me. It used to be the other way around for several years. I don't eat that much, even when I'm hungry, because I'm barely stressed out or anxious anymore. That, in combination with alcohol reduction, will likely make me skinny again, for the first time in about five years.
I love it. I don't feel antsy in there anymore; I've learned how to deal with boredom. I think that I initially felt that way because I didn't know how to spend my time without the internet, but now I just like to chill out. I'm actually a lot more happy and mentally healthy without constant access to the internet; it provides me a lot less opportunity to remind myself that I'm not like anyone else, and as such I'm a lot less jaded.
I could spend all day in my apartment, but I like going out sometimes. I still need to see my small amount of friends, anyway, just to keep myself somewhat in the loop. I don't need a social life but I don't want my ability to talk to others to completely atrophy.
It hasn't rained in over a month. It has just been fairly hot and sunny. I hate it.
I paid my former roommate all of the money that I owed him, and to celebrate I got drunk. It was fun at the time, but during the next day I just felt like a degenerate loser. It was the first time I felt extremely ashamed about it; usually I just made excuses in the past. I didn't have a drop of alcohol the day after, though, so that was good. I'm planning to stay away from alcohol. It is unhealthy, a waste of time and way too expensive, anyway. Even if I could afford it, I don't know if I would want to drink it anymore.
As it turns out, my former roommate still lives at the old place. I sort of knew that; he said that he wanted to move out, but the arrangement that he made didn't work out. I believe him, although if it was a few weeks ago I would have called him a liar. He seemed pretty unhappy. I'm not glad that he fucked himself over, but he did bring it all on himself.
I still slightly miss the old place, but it brought out a lot of bad habits and I needed to move on and start living on my own. I was getting too old to have roommates.
Basically, these days I just chill out in my apartment and carry out solitary activities. I like reading and writing, and I write about ten pages of poetry a day. One of my friends has been reading my poems and she likes them. The problem is, though, is that I don't know how to really get my poems out there, so it might be a while. I am not sure if anyone reads poetry anymore, anyway. I also want to make computer games and music again, as well as practice drawing (which I actually have been doing), but my poetry comes first.
Other than that, pretty much nothing. The death anniversary of my mother was uneventful, save for meeting my brother's girlfriend for the first time. She is nice. I'm watching my weight now and I have lost a few pounds, and it is odd because my brother now weighs more than me. It used to be the other way around for several years. I don't eat that much, even when I'm hungry, because I'm barely stressed out or anxious anymore. That, in combination with alcohol reduction, will likely make me skinny again, for the first time in about five years.
