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[promeny]

Yesterday night I went for a walk around main street. I looked at the bars and night clubs and even went inside one, but there really wasn't much about it that interested me. All the people were either fat and ugly, boring, or both. It just isn't my scene anymore. I remember as little as two years ago I was a naive, impressionable guy who knew less than he should who was amazed and marveled by the nightlife of a college town as well as its patrons, and was outgoing and interested in others by nature. Now I'm just someone who isn't interested in anyone and wants to be left alone in the dark recesses of the country. How much I've changed in two years; or just one year, really. I don't even like drinking anymore, that is how much I have changed.

Today I went to church again. It was pretty good; I felt out of place in the beginning but after a while I felt better about myself for going. The sermons tend to put me at ease because then I can think about the works of God. My mind is my most prized possession; I'd rather be paraplegic than without intellect and/or wisdom.

There is a part of me that still wants to be with a girl, but I don't think that it is ever going to happen. I mean, sure, you never know, especially since I'm more active in the community, but I'm simply too odd for people to want. I'm not really interested in anyone in particular, anyway. Probably for the best; I'd be too anxious and mentally ill if I was.