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Oct. 25th, 2013 11:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
promenyI feel a bit better today, emotionally at least. No rages or anything, although in comparison to how I was several months ago I really wasn't that terrible. Some of the pains have gone away, too.
I talked to my brother last night. I told him about how I refused that one job and he was disappointed in me, saying that I should take any job and that it doesn't matter if it makes me miserable. He's entitled to his own opinion, but if I don't have to be miserable, I won't. I read a couple of days ago that some of the top five things that dying people say that they regretted doing was that they said that they wished that they didn't live so that others could be happy and that they also wished that they didn't work so hard. I feel that I'm successfully abiding to those two sayings, and that the only reason why both my brother and my father are upset about me being on SSI is because they are both unhappy and insecure.
So I told my friend about that today, and she more or less sided with me and also said that I really do need to be on SSI. The thing is that I'm actually way more productive on SSI than not, so as such it is better for me to be on it not just for my sake, but for others.
I've decided that I'm going to change my diet; I'm going to try to go organic. I've already made other changes, mostly no highly caffeinated beverages, no extremely salty foods and no foods with a lot of preservatives. I had some White Castle frozen cheeseburgers for two days and both times I had this pain in my chest and pain in my left arm; obviously, that meant that it was fucking with my heart. I looked at the ingredients and behold, half of them were preservatives, with most of them being those I have never heard of. So I threw the remaining two away.
I'm glad that I'm finally wise enough to be making better decisions. I think I'll have my youth restored that way.
I talked to my brother last night. I told him about how I refused that one job and he was disappointed in me, saying that I should take any job and that it doesn't matter if it makes me miserable. He's entitled to his own opinion, but if I don't have to be miserable, I won't. I read a couple of days ago that some of the top five things that dying people say that they regretted doing was that they said that they wished that they didn't live so that others could be happy and that they also wished that they didn't work so hard. I feel that I'm successfully abiding to those two sayings, and that the only reason why both my brother and my father are upset about me being on SSI is because they are both unhappy and insecure.
So I told my friend about that today, and she more or less sided with me and also said that I really do need to be on SSI. The thing is that I'm actually way more productive on SSI than not, so as such it is better for me to be on it not just for my sake, but for others.
I've decided that I'm going to change my diet; I'm going to try to go organic. I've already made other changes, mostly no highly caffeinated beverages, no extremely salty foods and no foods with a lot of preservatives. I had some White Castle frozen cheeseburgers for two days and both times I had this pain in my chest and pain in my left arm; obviously, that meant that it was fucking with my heart. I looked at the ingredients and behold, half of them were preservatives, with most of them being those I have never heard of. So I threw the remaining two away.
I'm glad that I'm finally wise enough to be making better decisions. I think I'll have my youth restored that way.
