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[personal profile] promeny
I talked to my brother last night. He seems to be doing more or less the same; not horrible, but wants to be somewhere else. He mentioned that he thought that I was scared of aging when I brought up something about social status, and I told him that I don't feel any younger and I'm not afraid of getting older, but nonetheless I still feel like I'm a very bad example of a soon-to-be 30-year-old. He told me that there is no set way to be, and that I shouldn't worry about it. He's right.

I've decided that I'm probably going to stop doing any sort of drugs outside of alcohol and tobacco for good. I haven't done them for three weeks, and DXM stopped being enjoyable in any case. I've heard that age has a lot to do with it. When you get older, you're more vulnerable to the negative effects of substances and they become less pleasurable, and I just need to accept that. People who do drugs beyond their 20s are kind of pathetic, anyways. I am admittedly still interested in salvia and DMT, but I don't particularly have to do them.

I really need to keep a notebook for philosophical thoughts. I think that I gradually get better as knowledge accumulates in any case, however it would be best if I write them down as they happen, since my memory isn't perfect. My poems actually sort of serve as ways of jotting them down, but I need to be better about it.

Well, things will happen.

October 2017

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