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Nov. 30th, 2013 11:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
promenyYesterday was half-way nice; I had lunch with my brother and I found out that he might not move up here after all. Dad kind of got to him (he wants people to have hard lives), but I told him that while financially moving here might not be the best thing, emotionally it would be. That is what is more important, in my eyes. So maybe he'll think about it more.
We went for a walk because Dad thought that it would wake me up, which it sort of did but not enough. He then accused me of drinking too much and that was the reason why I was so tired. The thing is that I don't drink excessively anymore and even when I did I didn't get tired, so I was of course pretty offended. When we were playing Uno afterwards I quietly burped inside my mouth and Dad gave me hell for it, which was uncalled for. I knew that he would act like that; usually when there are other members of the family around he doesn't value me as much and tries to control and humiliate me again. At least I'm smart enough to see it coming.
I don't know if I will see them today; my brother leaves tonight. I am going to call my brother to have some coffee or something but if they don't call me first I will be slightly upset.
I sort of understand what my sister said to me weeks ago about Dad's hypocrisy. It took me a while, but only because I'm from a different viewpoint than she.
Anyways I'm not sure how else things will be. The depersonalization/derealization is almost gone, but the visions are still there, although maybe those have calmed down a bit. I just feel ill half the time, these days.
We went for a walk because Dad thought that it would wake me up, which it sort of did but not enough. He then accused me of drinking too much and that was the reason why I was so tired. The thing is that I don't drink excessively anymore and even when I did I didn't get tired, so I was of course pretty offended. When we were playing Uno afterwards I quietly burped inside my mouth and Dad gave me hell for it, which was uncalled for. I knew that he would act like that; usually when there are other members of the family around he doesn't value me as much and tries to control and humiliate me again. At least I'm smart enough to see it coming.
I don't know if I will see them today; my brother leaves tonight. I am going to call my brother to have some coffee or something but if they don't call me first I will be slightly upset.
I sort of understand what my sister said to me weeks ago about Dad's hypocrisy. It took me a while, but only because I'm from a different viewpoint than she.
Anyways I'm not sure how else things will be. The depersonalization/derealization is almost gone, but the visions are still there, although maybe those have calmed down a bit. I just feel ill half the time, these days.
