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I'm sort of working on another game again. I started making it out of frustration from interacting with a bunch of transsexuals online. The game is fairly NSFW, but it is highly original and I've had fun with it so far. There is no set date to finish it, but I reckon that it will take about a month. Would be earlier, but I'm writing stuff right now.

I'm at 28,000 words for my story. It has gotten right to the part where Saranna gets raped. But it is interesting; the story isn't going quite as I planned it. It is like there is some spirit possessing me as I write, or as if the story is writing itself. I dare say that at least half of the scenes that I have wrote were entirely on the fly. This either means that I am being influenced by my subconscious, or I have a very good imagination, or both.

In any case I've gone far beyond what I have ever accomplished in my life. Not even my Master's thesis is as long or as elaborate as what I'm currently writing. Even if my book doesn't sell or if nobody likes it, I can at least say that I did something with myself, and it is good practice in any case.
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I went to church today. That was good; I talked with the pastor about a hangup I had about the last sermon and he basically said that it didn't apply to me. So I feel better now.

I've been playing a lot of indie games recently, trying to take notes about how I should design mine. I try to be original but sometimes you have to be aware of what kinds of styles other people use and like. I haven't given up on game creation at all, but I am sort of in a rut right now.

In any case I'm back into reading articles and stuff like that. I will probably start writing essays again soon, although it won't be as common since I'm sincerely trying to write articles now. I wonder if I will ever get published? Well, let us hope for that.
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I'm doing better. Wondering a bit about what had happened recently, and still not quite in the best of moods, but I'm getting back on track.

It is a lot warmer now. No longer cutting, and it feels like you can actually live in this kind of weather. It was probably a good thing that it didn't snow too much during the cold snap; otherwise I probably wouldn't have made it to my sessions.

I'm just wondering what I should do with myself. Downloading and reading more articles from the Transpersonal journal, and I'm also working on a new game. Not sure how the game is going to end up, but it revolves around a slave woman who is trying to escape the Netherworld. But that might be left unsaid.

I should just relax. I've been sluggish recently and I'm sort of amazed that I'm still even doing some things.
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I'm doing okay; it is just sort of quiet on the intellectual front because I don't know enough to really write an article yet. Well, that isn't quite true; I do know what I want to talk about but I need to read more in order to "back up" my points. Fortunately there is only one thing to do, and I can do it.

I started working on another game recently. I usually do anyway, but this one seems to be able to become finished with due time. It will have more of a point to it than Mutos and there will actually be dialogue in the game. It is strange, I think, because I believe that a work of art simply reveals its point or message to you through imagery, and to attempt to do so will only lead to detraction from the original point. But I could be at least halfway wrong with that.

It snowed yesterday, and it is a bit cold out. But I'm not too bothered by that. Just evidence showing me that global warming isn't entirely a thing, at least here.

I played a Saturn game that I obtained recently last evening, but I didn't know how to play it. Well, read the manual.

In any case I'm just going to try to make something of myself, as usual. I will eventually.
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I finished my game last night, and released it today.

I hope that some people will like it. I had the fear that someone might interpret it the wrong way and make some trumped up charges or something, but there is really nothing criminal in it (or at least I had no intention of doing so) and I really don't think it will happen.

The game certainly is different, though. It will disgust some people. But there are lines that I do not cross, and anything that is blatantly illegal is one of them.

Of course, there are people who would persecute you legally simply because they have the emotional intelligence of toddlers and want you to get in trouble because YOU DID SOMETHING THAT THEY DIDN'T LIKE. But I really don't think that is going to happen.

It was a real tour-de-force. I had fun making it, it didn't take too long, it was entirely original, and I would like to make more games in the future.

Who knows, I might end up being something.

Anyways nothing else is really going on.

October 2017

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