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Jun. 21st, 2013 11:35 amI had a dream last night where I was a North Korean who was Kim Jong Chul's best friend. That was really weird.
Apparently my brother wants to move to Portland. I haven't been there in over eight years, so I wouldn't know if it is a good city or not, but I feel like this isn't a good move. I pretty much know that he doesn't have a job lined up there, and that it will be more expensive. Although I should also say that it wasn't like living in our old hometown in Pendleton was really doing anything for him, either. At least he will have greater opportunity there, if he isn't going to be foolish about it.
I'm angry right now, and I was especially pissed off last afternoon. I just can't get over my delusions about women. I have these delusions for a number of different reasons, one being that I know for a fact I'd be better off if I was one. I'd simply have a better life, because women are given much more opportunity in Western society. Sort of a shame since men are far more talented and capable. This makes me want to do things.
I take a look at myself, and I see a man who is capable of doing great things, but cannot, either due to an oppressive society or because of my own failings. I'm almost 30 and the only thing I've ever done is get an M.A. That actually is an achievement, but what have I done with it? I just see a life full of disappointment and false hope for me. Even though I'm a good poet, what are the chances that I'll get famous for that?
I'm just going to fail.
Apparently my brother wants to move to Portland. I haven't been there in over eight years, so I wouldn't know if it is a good city or not, but I feel like this isn't a good move. I pretty much know that he doesn't have a job lined up there, and that it will be more expensive. Although I should also say that it wasn't like living in our old hometown in Pendleton was really doing anything for him, either. At least he will have greater opportunity there, if he isn't going to be foolish about it.
I'm angry right now, and I was especially pissed off last afternoon. I just can't get over my delusions about women. I have these delusions for a number of different reasons, one being that I know for a fact I'd be better off if I was one. I'd simply have a better life, because women are given much more opportunity in Western society. Sort of a shame since men are far more talented and capable. This makes me want to do things.
I take a look at myself, and I see a man who is capable of doing great things, but cannot, either due to an oppressive society or because of my own failings. I'm almost 30 and the only thing I've ever done is get an M.A. That actually is an achievement, but what have I done with it? I just see a life full of disappointment and false hope for me. Even though I'm a good poet, what are the chances that I'll get famous for that?
I'm just going to fail.
