(no subject)
Jun. 7th, 2013 10:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
promenyI'm just so angry right now.
I'm suffering. I can barely think straight and I'm filled with panic, fear and anxiety. I have the morbid fear that I'm going to have a heart attack; I constantly feel pains in my chest. I constantly feel like screaming and crying, laying in a fetal position on the floor. I'm filled with agitation, having the fear that I'm going to go crazy soon and hurt someone. I constantly shake, with tremors in my hands and I occasionally feel the need to vomit. I can barely eat.
Why am I suffering? Why did just one dose of Sudafed permanently fuck me up like this? None of the substances that I did for recreational purposes ever fucked me up even half as bad as this. I don't understand how just one pill that I innocently took could seemingly ruin my life, or at least seriously hinder it.
I'm almost entirely anti-drug now. Not only recreational substances, but also the legitimate medications, too. I have a fragile brain and I can't break it.
The ER can't help me. The psych ward can't help me. Alcohol can't help me. The few friends and professionals that I see usually aren't around.
I need help. I know that. But I don't know what to do.
I'm suffering. I can barely think straight and I'm filled with panic, fear and anxiety. I have the morbid fear that I'm going to have a heart attack; I constantly feel pains in my chest. I constantly feel like screaming and crying, laying in a fetal position on the floor. I'm filled with agitation, having the fear that I'm going to go crazy soon and hurt someone. I constantly shake, with tremors in my hands and I occasionally feel the need to vomit. I can barely eat.
Why am I suffering? Why did just one dose of Sudafed permanently fuck me up like this? None of the substances that I did for recreational purposes ever fucked me up even half as bad as this. I don't understand how just one pill that I innocently took could seemingly ruin my life, or at least seriously hinder it.
I'm almost entirely anti-drug now. Not only recreational substances, but also the legitimate medications, too. I have a fragile brain and I can't break it.
The ER can't help me. The psych ward can't help me. Alcohol can't help me. The few friends and professionals that I see usually aren't around.
I need help. I know that. But I don't know what to do.
